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But, after four years of sexless fidelity, I find myself a post-menopausal singleton in the throes of nymphomania. I want sex more than ever and that fact shreds everything I know about this sad post-fertile state. In discussions about this surge with colleagues, I am encouraged to download Tinder, Bumble and Happn. I may be closer to 60 than 50 but a lifetime of care and good genes mean I can pass for 42 and I do. The menopause has caused me to lose weight and I have a leaner look than I did in my 20s.

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As water drops from a rusty pipe, the camera pans across a gloomy urban landscape to reveal a woman lying battered in an alley. A good Samaritan named Seligman Stellan Skarsgard offers to call an ambulance. When she refuses, he takes her into his home, cleans her wounds and settles her into a twin bed to recover. She introduces herself as Joe, then sleeps fitfully. When awake, she is intent on recounting how she got to this state.

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With a certain amount of self-aware glee he sets out to provoke, shock, challenge, amuse and possibly even annoy audiences with his two-part epic Nymphomaniac, a film that revels in its title and subject matter as it blends full-on sexual acts with serious-minded naval-gazing and comes up with a film that will test viewers in many different ways. Yes it is provocative, funny, smart, wry and challenging though never sexy but it is also a remarkable project brimming with bold and often thoughtful performances. The plentiful use of explicit sex footage, extensive debates on art, religion, music and literature and bountiful full-front shots of course mean that the film is aimed fair-and-square at the art-house community that has embraced his previous films. In some territories it will be released as two films on different dates, while in others — frankly the best option to see it — it opens as a hefty two-part film experience.

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I longed for him to hold me. But at the same time, I felt ashamed that I couldn't find the heart to tell him the truth. I was still awake an hour later when the light went off.

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He held my head down suddenly, making me gag. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

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Hearing about his sexcapades with his previous lovers wasn't really my kind of thing. Maybe because my own had bombed so beautifully.

When I tried to look away, he gently turned my chin back.

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No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't come up with a solution. At least not a rational one that didn't involve wrapping my hands around the throats of the two people inside. and I wasn't talking the kinky way. Over an hour later, I was still rocking back-and-forth when Chris pulled into the lot.

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How did I tell him that the chaos inside my apartment was of my own doing because I'd failed to stand up for myself the very first time I was confronted with my past. That once more, instead of handling the situation, I'd tucked my tail like a coward and tried to disappear. He regarded me for a moment longer then helped me stand, walking me into the lobby before wrapping me into his coat.

His lips were so warm when they brushed mine.

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